


worldly knowledge

by worn



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Incest, M/M, child grooming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28812111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worn/pseuds/worn
Summary: some things are learned, but never taught.
Relationships: Rick Sanchez/Morty Smith
Kudos: 30





	worldly knowledge

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. this was an exercise in writing DIALOGUE ONLY.
> 
> 2\. there is no real life educational value to this fic, or any fic probably. i don’t claim to know anything about any country outside of the u.s. all my knowledge is second-hand or googled.
> 
> 3\. no offense is meant in the mention or portrayal of any specific country.

“your mom told me that you, you need to learn more about earth.

because y-you’re so ignorant that you can’t even point out indonesia on a globe.”

“yeah, ok, rick. i’m dumb, i get it-- how, how is bathing together supposed to teach me more about earth stuff?”

“well, morty, i’ve decided that every week i’m gonna teach you something about (urp), about geography or some earth culture you don’t know about. once a week should be enough...

for example, bathing habits in japan are different from the ones we have in good ol’ america. japanese folks shower to clean themselves before bathing because the bathing part is done for relaxation.

it’s totally normal for friends and strangers to bathe together in public bathhouses or hot springs, and little kids will share baths with their parents. like they’ll just hang out and chill while bathing. whole communities will have their own bathhouse where families go to bond and shit.”

“i think i saw this kind of thing in some anime that dad watched before... or maybe it was a documentary on japan...

but is it normal for grandparents and grandkids to do this too?”

“sure, why not. it’s not a big deal in japan like it is here. it’s just a relaxing, hygienic activity that you can do socially. it’s also separated by gender so that probably takes the awkwardness out of it too.”

“jeez. i don’t think i could get used to doing this with friends or strangers. like i wouldn’t even do this with mom or dad... and it’s even weird with just you being here, even though, even though we’ve already seen each other naked before a lot of times.”

“don’t make it weird, mooorty. the awkwardness you feel is socially constructed. you know how different things can be in space; if you assumed your culture on everyone else, that’d be a planetary mindset. so no need to have a, have a national mindset or whatever, here on earth. we call that ethnocentrism, morty, and no one likes it. that’s why i’m teaching you this shit.”

“alright, alright, i get it, rick. i guess i am learning after all.”

“of course you are. if i’m the one teaching, then someone’s gonna learn something. or else.

next week, i’m teaching you about dining etiquette in india, and the week after that, open defecation, also in india. you’re gonna learn a lot about india. and then i’m teaching you about real mexican cuisine, because i can’t believe you are so deprived of knowledge about the greatest food on earth.”

“uh, sounds... sounds good, i guess.”

“by the way, they have private bathhouses in japan too, for-for shy little dweebs like you, morty, who don’t want to be social and hang out naked with their neighbors.”

“yeah, i-i bet they do. not everyone would enjoy this kinda thing, even in a place where it’s normal, probably.

oh, um. 

hey, rick. uh, you, you don’t have to wash my ch-ch-chest so much.”

“what, you hiding a b-boner under your hands, morty? from your own grandpa lathering you up, really?

you, you little--“

“i, it’s a natural reaction! you’re rubbing my chest and my stomach and--“

“you’re a little perv, morty. you’re a naughty little shit. my hands feel that good?”

“rick. please. you gotta stop, i’m touch-starved, okay? i’m sorry--”

“you wouldn’t last a fucking day in japan, morty. you’d be in the fucking sento sitting around with some innocent older men who are just trying to relax after a long day at the conglomerate and you’d start rubbin’ all up on ‘em, saying ‘please’-- what do you think’s gonna happen, kid?”

“...”

“well, it’s a good thing no one’s around in here. you could do some hentai shit right now and i’ll keep my mouth shut. i’ll leave you alone, or keep lathering you up, or whatever you want, just say the word.”

“...i’m not doing anything. let’s just, just get this over with and finish the bath, please.

don’t teach me any more about bathing, okay? i don’t think i can take it.”

“so my hands are that good.”

“...”

“fine, i won’t teach you about bathing anymore, morty. there’s a looot of other stuff for you to learn, anyway.”

“n-nothing about jerking off or, or sex stuff either.“

“lame. we’re both dudes, morty, what are you ashamed of? guys jerk off together all the time and shit. not gonna leave you uneducated about male bonding in your own damn country.”

“ugh.”

**Author's Note:**

> \---links---
> 
> * my twitter:  
> [twitter.com/broc0n]


End file.
